15 Minute Story #3: Putting The ‘Fun’ In Funeral

Putting The FUN in Funeral 3

She wasn’t the first girl to smile at me, but I forgot about the others when she did. We were at my grandfather’s funeral. I was there out of familial obligation. Personally, I never liked the guy. He was an unapologetic racist and a drunk. The only surprising thing about him drunkenly driving his car off an overpass was that it took him so long to do it.

So I didn’t think too much of pulling out a pack of Mentos and popping a couple in my mouth. She smiled seeing me acting like a kid. I wasn’t sure who she was. I hoped she wasn’t related to me. Her long black hair hid half her face and her black dress was more appropriate for a club than a funeral but you won’t find me complaining.

After the funeral she said, “Can I get one of those?”

“A casket? Sure. My understanding is we all get one eventually.”

She let out a small laugh. “I meant one of your candies.”

“Oh.” I pulled the roll out and gave her one.

“So how’d you know the deceased?” I asked thinking ‘Please don’t be a cousin. Please don’t be a cousin.’

“I didn’t.”

“You just go funerals for the fun of it?”

“No. My uncle died. I was trying to go to his funeral but I got the day wrong. I thought it was today. It’s tomorrow. So I figured as long as I was here, I might as well join in the festivities.”

She chewed my candy. We looked at each other.

“So…” she said with a smirk, “Come here often?”

“Every chance I get.”

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

Words by Jack Cameron
Illustration by Ossaín Ávila Cárdenas

About 15 Minute Stories
It’s good for writers to write every day, but it’s easy for life to get in the way of that. One solution I read about recently was to write a 15 minute piece of short fiction every single day for a month. You may not have time to doNaNoWriMoevery month, but if you like writing, you can always find 15 minutes.

So for the month of January, I’ll be writing and posting pieces of very short fiction that I took 15 minutes to write. I’ve asked that my friend, Ossaín Ávila Cárdenas join me by taking 15 minutes to draw an accompanying image for each story.  Ossaín is one of the owners of a local zine shop in Tacoma calledThe Nearsighted Narwhal

15 Minute Story #2: The Marty Party

TheMartyParty2

Oh, you’re going in the book, motherfucker. When I write that explosive memoir telling everything that’s happened, you’re going in that book. What will I call that chapter? Douchey Guys And The Men Who Are Fooled By Them? I’m sure you’d say it was just a Marty Party, but my friends were there and they saw you and they saw what you did and they told me. So now I know and now you know I know. I hope it was worth it.

You’d say you were too drunk to remember. You’d say you didn’t mean to kiss him. You’d say a lot of things, but you can’t right now, can you?

I can’t believe you walked into that party and said, “He couldn’t make it.” Yeah, that might be due to the fact that we got pulled over on the way there and thanks to our little pre-funk, I blew a .09 and got arrested. Did you bother to tell them that, asshole? No. Instead you got drunk, made out with Chad’s brother and then…

I spent the weekend in jail, you know. The whole damn weekend. You’re the only one who knew I was there and you didn’t bother to tell anyone. You just got your mac on and hopped up on that railing trying to show off your gymnastic skills. But you were drunk and the railing wasn’t stable. Marty’s place has a great view, but that view means quite a bit of a drop.

I wonder if it was painful. Now having a DUI is the least of my worries. I’m the guy who has a cheating dead boyfriend. My friends want to console me but they don’t know what to say.

Next month, Marty’s having his legendary Valentine’s Day Party. He hasn’t sent me an invitation. Thanks a lot. You ruin my social life even in death. I hope landing on those rocks hurt like hell.

Words by Jack Cameron
Illustration by Ossaín Ávila Cárdenas

About 15 Minute Stories
It’s good for writers to write every day, but it’s easy for life to get in the way of that. One solution I read about recently was to write a 15 minute piece of short fiction every single day for a month. You may not have time to do NaNoWriMoevery month, but if you like writing, you can always find 15 minutes.

So for the month of January, I’ll be writing and posting pieces of very short fiction that I took 15 minutes to write. I’ve asked that my friend, Ossaín Ávila Cárdenas join me by taking 15 minutes to draw an accompanying image for each story.  Ossaín is one of the owners of a local zine shop in Tacoma calledThe Nearsighted Narwhal

15 Minute Story #1: The Beating

The Beating1

After the third punch I don’t really feel it. The first one was expected. After what I’d said and how much we had drank, it seemed inevitable that we would come to blows, but I figured I could take him. That first punch hit me in the jaw. I went for a gut punch and was surprised how quickly he dodged it. This left me wide open. The second punch was right in the nose. It was then I knew I was going to lose the fight. I managed to land a few of my own but I was on the ground within thirty seconds and then there were kicks. (He was really mad.) The bartender pulled him back and kicked him out. He handed me a bar towel and told me to get cleaned up. I guess some would say I deserved it, but really the beating was longer than the conversation:

He said, “Those new Star Trek movies suck. But at least Abrams is off the project.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Abrams made Star Trek cool.”

“Really, pal? Abrams is a hack!”

“What can I say? I love lens flare.”

And then he hit me.

Words by Jack Cameron
Illustration by Ossaín Ávila Cárdenas

About 15 Minute Stories
It’s good for writers to write every day, but it’s easy for life to get in the way of that. One solution I read about recently was to write a 15 minute piece of short fiction every single day for a month. You may not have time to do NaNoWriMo every month, but if you like writing, you can always find 15 minutes.

So for the month of January, I’ll be writing and posting pieces of very short fiction that I took 15 minutes to write. I’ve asked that my friend, Ossaín Ávila Cárdenas join me by taking 15 minutes to draw an accompanying image for each story.  Ossaín is one of the owners of a local zine shop in Tacoma called The Nearsighted Narwhal