Monthly Archives: May 2008

Knocked Up Review

Posted on May 21, 2008 | Leave a comment

So what’s up? Did Jack Cameron’s new blog on his site flame out after just a few weeks? The short answer is ‘No.’. The longer answer is, “What fucked up thing is going to happen next, oh cruel Fate?” The past couple weeks have been more than a little bit crazy so somehow, updating my website failed to be a priority.

I’m not one to turn my blog into a personal diary and I do what I can to keep most of my private life private, but in the past two weeks, I’ve dealt with a car accident, an extended ER visit, two visits to the DMV, and a mysterious illness. May has been a crazy ass month and I genuinely have The Fear today as I think of what this week might have in store for me and mine.

Anyway, I’m going to do what I can to catch up. Here’s a quick review of Knocked Up.

I saw Knocked Up last night. Afterwards I felt very much like I did after seeing Napoleon Dynamite. It’s as if there’s this entire section of ‘humor’ that entirely eludes me or something. People have told me how hilarious both of these movies are and I found that I laughed maybe four times during the entire movie.

I honestly don’t know what it is about this kind of movie. It just does nothing for me. The characters are stupid and two dimensional and it’s impossible to care what happens to them. And it’s not that I’m some elitist high-brow snob. It’s that people being high is only funny to people who are high. It’s that all of the characters in Knocked Up are either stupid stoners, self-involved assholes, or both. It’s that when you come down to it, a movie about a one night stand that turns into a pregnancy having a happy ending just absolutely stinks of bullshit. I know it’s a comedy but one of the rules of comedy is that is that truth is funny. I’ve read that a lot of the scenes in this movie come from the writer/director’s life, but that doesn’t really mean anything. ‘But it really happened’ doesn’t make something believable or even entertaining.

So whatever the joke is in Knocked Up, I guess I just don’t get it. If you do, that’s great. Maybe it’s what my friend Jeremy said, “You’re not 21 so it’s not funny.” I am 33. I am an old man now. While you young people watch You Don’t Mess With Zohan, I’ll be at home watching my Joe Vs. The Volcano DVD.

-Jack

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The Sound of Silence

Posted on May 9, 2008 | Leave a comment

Whenever I’m working on a project, I occasionally will send out little experiments to a handful of people just to see what the reaction will be. So last week I sent out a very short piece that was basically in the ‘voice’ that I want to write my second novel (yes, I’m not done with the first but I like to plan ahead). Usually my group of readers (aka friends who tell me the truth rather than just saying ‘it’s good’) would get back to me after a day or two. It’s been a week and none of them have responded at all. This is a first.

This of course has made me stop asking ‘is it any good?’ and start asking a thousand other questions. Is it all coincidence? Are they all too busy? Did I break my readers? What have I done? Should I have taken out the masturbation scene?

I have no idea what’s up and I’m almost afraid to ask them.

-Jack

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The Classic Vs The New

Posted on May 8, 2008 | Leave a comment

I have probably close to 10,000 comic books. My DVD collection is pushing 1,000 discs. I have no idea how many books I have. Whenever I move, I realize that about 85% of the stuff I own is media. And despite all of this, I want more. 

 

 Wanting more stuff is human. I don’t have a problem with it. The problem I have is that there are certain logistics I’m slowly becoming aware of. Let’s assume it takes me ten minutes to read a comic book. Assuming I have 10,000 comics and I want to reread them all, it would take me about half a year to do it if I all I did was read comics twelve hours every day. Let’s average out my DVDs to two hours each even though most of them are longer than that. That’s almost another half year of twelve hour shifts. (And this is of course assuming I don’t buy any more, which of course I will.)

 

       So, if I took an entire year off and didn’t work or write or do anything but watch TV and read comics. I might get through it all. But of course I can’t do that. In fact, to be honest, if I really dedicated myself to it, I could probably squeeze two hours a day into this project. And with that math, I’m looking at a project that would take me roughly FIVE YEARS.

 

And during those five years, there will be new movies, TV shows, comics, music that I’m going to want to check out. My point here is that I’m beginning to realize that I’m not sure I have time to reread things or watch a favorite movie for the tenth (or even second or third) time. Like for instance, this evening I felt like reading, but I can’t quite decide between rereading more of Warren Ellis’ awesome masterwork, Transmetropolitan or Cory Doctorow’s brand new young adult novel, Little Brother. Transmet I’ve probably read two or three times, so one might argue that reading something new would be good, but then again, when you read something again, it always hits you differently.

 

I bought the box set of Homicide sometime last year. Homicide was one of my favorite shows and I’m slowly watching the entire series again for the first time since it went off the air. Why? Because it’s an amazingly well put together show. Also I’m getting things I couldn’t get before from it. The last time I watched it, I wasn’t a parent so any episodes with kids, I didn’t really relate to except from the kid perspective. Also there are actors who’ve gone on to do other things since last I saw the show. In one of the best scenes of the entire series Andre Brougher’s character Frank Pembleton, gets a confession out of an innocent man. That man was played by Grey’s Anatomy’s Isaiah Washington.

 

I like to reread quality books and quality television and movies. It’s fun and I get a lot out of it. The thing of it is, I also like discovering the new. Though I’ve been buying it every month, I only recently read all of Matt Fraction’s comic series Casanova. I’d been buying it exclusively on the power of the reading the first issue, but now, having read 1-13 all in one sitting, I have to say that Matt Fraction is all sorts of awesome. And he’s not even done yet. I’m looking forward to the next issue and believe me I won’t be waiting to read it.

I guess I’m just trying to figure out the balance of the new and the classic. It makes me sad to think there are DVDs on my shelf that I’ll probably never watch again, but it also makes me sad to think there are great ones out there I’ll never see. So I’m not sure where that leaves me.

-Jack

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Father Michael

Posted on May 7, 2008 | Leave a comment

Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I’ve been working on my novel. Here’s a quick, fun piece I wrote a while back.

Father Michael

by Jack Cameron

Father Michael walked through the empty church. He loved this place. The stain glass windows, the candles, that big crucifix. Jesus looked damn good for a guy on a cross. Father Michael looked behind him. No one. Good. His secret was safe.

 

There was a time when this sort of thing wasn’t a big deal. He could do it whenever he wanted. But things had changed in the church. Nowadays Father Mike was bigger than ever and any indiscretion was carefully analyzed. It was like they wanted him to fail.

 

Father Michael unlocked his office door and quickly locked it behind him. He stood perfectly still, listening for any sound at all. Nothing. He was safe….well as safe as a man with an addiction like his could be. Tim would be here soon. Father Michael opened a drawer and pulled out a $20 bill. It would be enough for Tim.

 

Father Michael sat in his chair and waited with anticipation. He began to sweat. He used the bill in his hand to wipe it off. He hoped Tim wouldn’t mind. Suddenly he heard a familiar knock on the window.

 

He looked to see Tim. Tim had long hair and baggy pants that stayed up by some unknown means. His face was wet with rain. Father Michael opened the window. Tim stepped in as he had done countless times before.

 

“Good afternoon, Father Mike.”

“Hello, Tim. Thank you for coming.”

“Well, I know this isn’t easy for you and I know how careful we have to be. It’s ok though. I really understand. My dad was like you once.”

 

Tim set his backpack down. The phone rang. Father Michael put a finger to his lip, telling Tim to be quiet. Father Michael answered the phone. “Hello? Mrs. Davis. How nice to hear from you….Mrs.Davis, can I call you back? I’m in the middle of writing next week’s sermon….Thanks. Goodbye.”

 

During this time Tim had opened his backpack and begun to take things out of it. “Hey Father Mike? I don’t mean to be rude or anything but we should probably get this over with pretty quickly. I know what will happen if we get caught.”

 

Father Michael gave Tim a disarming smile. “Of course, Tim. By the way, will $20 cover it?” Father Michael handed Tim the twenty. Tim reluctantly took it.

 

“I feel weird taking money from you for this, but it’s not free, y’know?”

 

Father Michael looked at the things Tim had taken out of his backpack and salivated. Tim started naming them off like it was a roll call:

 

“Three packs of twinkies, two packs of ding-dongs, and a pack of Pringles. Once you pop, you can’t stop.” Tim laughed.

 

“Thank you, Tim.”

“No problem. See you tomorrow.” Tim left the way he came. Father Michael shut the window and looked at all of this food and smiled.

 

It was not easy being a four hundred pound priest.

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Posted in Shot of Jack

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